Truth Is A Beautiful Thing
by hannaX
Summary: "I never told you this, but when Smurf died, you were the one that kept me going. I didn't realise what a big part he played in my life until he was gone. Felt like a part of me died with him when I see him drop to the floor. He was my best friend, and the fact that I couldn't save him nearly killed me. But you saved me, and now I'm here to save you, okay?"


The drive back from Brize was painfully quiet.

Molly steals a few glances at her husband throughout the journey home, but his position never changes. His arm is propped against the window, his head resting on his hand, his expression blank.

"I missed you." She says quietly. She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth as she waits for a reply.

It felt like minutes, but must only have been a few seconds that past before he replies. She catches the look on his face as his eyes drop to the floor to look at his worn in brown boots.

"Yeah, same."

Right then, Molly knows something has happened. Something big, eating away at him, more than she has seen before. She knew he had been fragged after Elvis' death – and rightly so. He lost his best friend in one of the most brutal ways and unfortunately, he didn't get to mourn in a healthy way like everyone else. He had to put a strong face for his Section, tell them everything was going to be alright and get them all home to their families in one piece.

Molly understood the effect of losing a friend. Still to this day, not having Smurf around brought an unimaginable amount of sadness to her life.

But this went further than Elvis, and past tours. Molly knew that from his bland answer to her confession. Since Afghan, both her and Charles communicated their love for one another using a simple, but effective word.

 _Ditto_.

The word that sealed their fate in Afghan. It was a way to hide their feelings from other people. Their own secret code when their romance was forbidden.

And still to this day it was a word they used and it was a word that brought comfort to Molly.

But comfort was far from what she was currently feeling. She felt completely and utterly lonely sitting in the car next to her husband.

Finally, she pulls into the driveway, puts the gear into neutral, lifts up the handbrake and turns the engine off.

"I made you some soup with some dumplings, you know, your favourite." Molly turns in her seat to look at him. "I'll warm it up for you whilst you have a shower, get you all clean and tidy, yeah?" She reaches out and touches his shoulder. She feels him tense straight away and she frowns.

"Yeah, sure." Charles shrugs off her hand and pulls the door handle and pushes it wide open. He climbs out without saying another word and slams it shut, making Molly jump in the process.

She sighs heavily, and climbs out the car herself before walking over to the front door and unlocking it. She waits for Charles to grab his kit bag out of the boot and locks the car as he walks through the front door. She watches silently as he kicks off his boots and heads straight up the stairs and out of sight.

Molly drags her feet to the kitchen and runs a hand through her hair before making a start on warming up their dinner. She sets the table, and grabs a bottle of cold white wine out of the fridge, filling two wine glasses up half way before placing it on the table as well.

Once it's all set out, she sits down at the table and waits patiently for Charles.

Fifteen minutes later, she hears footsteps on the stairs and it makes her sit up straight. She watches him walk into the kitchen and give her a small smile.

"Smells nice." He says, pulling out a chair and sitting opposite her.

"So do you, now." She jokes, tilting her head to the side. She moves a piece of her chocolate coloured hair behind her ear. "Well, tuck in will you."

The sound of cutlery against the bowls filled the room. Molly sighs again.

"Everything alright? You've been awfully quiet since I picked you up from Brize." Molly says, before taking a sip of the wine.

After what feels like eternity, Charles lowers his spoon into the bowl before finally looking at his wife. A look of guilt plays across his beautiful face.

"What is it Charles? Talk to m-"

"I cheated on you."

Molly feels her stomach drop. A feeling of sickness washing over her. All she can do is stare at him.

"It happened on tour. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

Molly looks down at her lap as she tries to understand what exactly it is Charles is currently telling her. Cheated? But he was on tour with Two Section? Was it a random female in the village? The only female she knew of was Georgie, but they wouldn't – would they?

"Who was it?" Molly asks quietly, her eyes focused on the bowl in front of her.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does matter."

"Molly, please."

"Who was it Charles!?" Molly raises her voice this time, her hands slam on the table. Her focus now on Charles. He sighs heavily, and runs his hands down his face.

"Georgie. It was Georgie." Charles says defeatedly.

Molly's heart sinks.

One of her best friends.

Molly picks up her bowl of unfinished food and her glass of wine and pushes back the chair, it scraping loudly against the wood flooring in the process. She marches over to the sink and throws the items in there, the glass breaking into pieces.

"Molly!" Charles stands up.

"Don't you fucking Molly me!" Molly screams, pointing her finger in his face. "How fucking dare you, how fucking dare both of you!"

Shaking her head, she turns on her heel and walks out of the kitchen, running up the stairs. She can hear his heavy footsteps behind her.

"Molly wait, please hear me out." Charles begs. He catches up with her at their bedroom door, grabbing her arm.

Molly shakes him off.

"Don't you dare touch me." She moves into the bedroom, then spins round and looks at her husband. "Why would you do this to me? After everything I've done for you, after everything we've been through? I thought we were happy." Her voice cracks as she speaks, tears beginning to fill her eyes.

Charles moves forward slowly towards Molly holding his hands out as if to defend himself.

"We were, we are. I was stupid okay? I fucked up. I know I have. But I need to you forgive me Molly, because I can't live without you and I know that now."

"Oh you know that now do you?" Molly huffs in disgust. "After you fucked one of my best mates, _now_ you know that you can't live without me. What – wasn't any good was it? Was she a shit lay? Or was it the fact that it's now the second medic in your platoon that you've wanted to fuck so it wasn't as exciting as the first time."

Charles drops his head.

"It wasn't like that. I don't know what I was thinking, what we were both thinking. It was a mistake on both our parts."

Molly shakes her head. She turns round and pulls out a travel bag from their wardrobe and begins filling it with clothes.

"Molly, what are you doing? Put the bag down."

"I thought nothing was stronger than army regulations aye? They were your words. Come a long way since then haven't you, Charles." She's moved to the draws next to the wardrobe, pulling out random clothes and stuffing them in the bag. "Here I am, at home, waiting for you like fucking idiot. Sitting by the phone day and night worried sick that something might happen to you, like what happened to Elvis. But no, you're only fucking his fiancé instead. You've made a fool out of me."

"Molly.. please don't."

She then realises how broken his voice sounds. The only time she's ever heard him like that was their Skype call when he informed her about Elvis' death. She knew Elvis was like a brother to him. She loved him herself, the loveable rogue, but most of all she loved the bond him and Charles had. She realises she's gone too far when she mentions him.

She drops the bag on the floor and put her head in her hands. Then the tears came like a waterfall. Her body, shaking heavily. She feels him turn her round and pull her into his arms. She swears she can hear him crying as well.

After a while, Molly pulls away and sits herself on the end of the bed. She wipes her eyes with her sleeve.

"Just answer me one thing, Charles." She sniffs, then looks up at him. "Why?"

Charles moves to sit next to her on the bed. He takes a moment before he answers.

"I thought I was fine, you know, after Elvis. I kept working, and just pushed the thought of him and that day to the back of my mind. It just hurt too much. But then Georgie was there, and just seeing her face reminded me of him. He loved her so much, Molly. " It was now his turn for his voice to break. "When I think of him, all I see now is him laying there, motionless, his burnt face, eyes open just staring into nothing. And it hurts because I can't see him before that day now Molly, I can't remember my best friend who used to annoy the shit out of me. I just see him laying there, dead, covered in dust and burns and blood and it fucking haunts me."

Then it hits Molly, he's _finally_ grieving. Her heart breaks for her husband as she watches the walls he built up finally come down. Tears pour down his face. And just like that Molly forgives him, because she knows what it's like to lose a best friend, and nothing can prepare you for it no matter how strong you think you are.

"But I had to be the strong one, you know. I couldn't let the fact that my best friend had just been killed in front of my eyes effect the task at hand. But Georgie was there, and I could see that she was struggling just as much. She was the only one there that knew how I was feeling, really feeling. We needed each other." Charles wipes his eyes. "It just happened Moll, it's fucking stupid and I fucking regret it but I needed to just feel something because I've felt numb. I've felt so fucking numb."

Molly is now crying as she listens to her husband's confession. She gently reaches out and touches his back, and begins to slowly rub her hand back and forth.

"I don't want to lose you Molly, you're the only person who can save me from this. I need help, because it's getting too much for me and _I can't cope_ anymore. It's so fucking dark everywhere, I feel like I can't escape it, this feeling of nothingness." Charles turned towards Molly, and raised his hand to her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "You're my light Dawesy. You always have been. When I saw your face when I stepped off the plane, it's the most relaxed i've felt in a long time. And then I remembered what I done, and the guilt hit. I'm so fucking sorry Molly." His forehead drops to hers.

Molly's hand comes up to his cheek, mirroring his actions.

"He wouldn't want you to be sad, but it's okay not to be okay." She brings her other hand up to his face. "I forgive you, okay. I understand."

She holds him in her arms as he finally lets all the pent up emotion from the past 6 months of out his system. She cries with him.

After a while, he lifts his head up and their eyes lock.

"I'm a mess." He states. She smiles at him.

He brings his lips down to hers, and they stay like that as they breathe one another in. When he pulls away, Molly wraps a hand around the back of his neck and pulls him back down. The kiss deepens, and Molly opens her mouth and Charles slips his tongue past her lips.

"Molly-" Charles pulls away again. "I am sorry, I mean it."

"Charles, I forgive you."

And in that moment, she wants to help her husband forget the pain and suffering that he has felt over the past 6 months.

She stands from the bed, and moves in front of him. Slowly she removes her top, pulling it over her head, discarding it on the floor and un-claps her bra, dragging it over her arms before it falls to the floor. Then she unbuttons her jeans, and slides them down to her legs along with her underwear before stepping out of them.

She moves forward, and stands in between Charles legs. She brings her hands his strong shoulders, and slides them down his torso until she reaches the hem of his white t-shirt. He lifts his arms and she pulls it off over his head, and throws it on the floor along with the rest of her clothes. Her hands skim across his soft skin, brushing against the hairs on his chest. He brings his hands up to the back of her legs, moving them up and down.

Her hands move to the waistband of his grey jogging bottoms. She hooks her fingers in them and pushes them down with his help, then, straddles his lap. His large hands run up her back, his fingers moving over the outlines of toned muscles. Molly kisses him deeply, her hands are in his hair, tugging slightly on the brown curls and it makes Charles moan. His fingernails scrape down her back, and it makes her arch into him.

She can tell he's still thinking in that beautiful head of his. She pushes him back onto the bed so he's lying on his back and she moves over him.

"I want you to switch off your brain okay?" She runs her hand down the side of his face. "I'm going to make you forget. Let me do the work." She kisses him again, and he slides into her. They both moan loudly, then, Molly begins to rock back and forth. She's kissing his neck, and Charles is breathing into hers. His hands are running over her body and hers find their way back in to his hair. She can feel he is close from the noises he is making, so she begins to speed up her thrusts. His hands are on her hips helping her movements, his fingers gripping her tight. She thinks how she might have tiny bruises there tomorrow and she smiles to herself.

Suddenly, Charles flips them so Molly is now on her back. Her legs wrap around his waist as he continues to thrust in her. He's hitting a spot from this angle that now has Molly moaning. He grabs both her hands and pins them either side of her, lowers his head and kisses her, both of them fighting for control. Their fingers link tightly. His head falls to her neck.

"I'm close, Molly." His voice is muffled. He reaches down between her legs. She moans.

"Charles." She whimpers. Her back arching, as nothing but pleasure races through her body. She missed this feeling. His thrusts come to halt, and she holds him as he comes.

They lay there for a while. Molly gently running his hand up and down his back, whilst he lays soft kisses on her neck. Eventually they move under the covers, Charles pulling Molly into his chest.

He moves a piece of hair away from her face and kisses her forehead.

"Thank you. For everything. I don't deserve this, and I don't deserve you." He says.

"For better or for worse, remember. We will get through this." She grabs his hands. "Death has an effect on all of us Charles, some bigger than others. But we all needs to mourn those we lose, it's the only way to heal those wounds. I understand why you and Georgie did what you did, I do." She kisses his hands. "I never told you this, but when Smurf died, you were the one that kept me going. I didn't realise what a big part he played in my life until he was gone. Felt like a part of me died with him when I see him drop to the floor. He was my best friend, and the fact that I couldn't save him nearly killed me. But you saved me, and now I'm here to save you, okay?"

"Okay." Charles replied.

"I love you, Charles James. Always. Remember that."

Charles smiled.

"Ditto."


End file.
